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< Awarnings ~ What Cars REALLY Say... |
| admin |
 Posted: Thu Oct 11, 2007 9:13 pm |
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Site Admin
Joined: 16 Aug 2007
Posts: 38
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What cars cliches do you want to bust here?
Do you know of a car which the owner thinks says one thing, but it screams something else? |
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| FireFrost |
| Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 12:03 pm |
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Joined: 16 Dec 2007
Posts: 8
Location: Houston, TX
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Base model rear-drive cars.
Not all of them, but around my area, this is something that just gets to me. "Entry-level" Dodge Charger/Chrysler 300. More the Charger than anything. I cannot count how many of these cars that I have see that have huge 22" wheels, custom paint jobs/badges/decals etc
Driver says: I am a badass. This is the car that you wish you could have. I am what you strive to be in this day and age. (This is a paraphrased quote from 2 individuals I met who drive the base SE models with said 'mod jobs' and a 190 hp engine.
What it really says (to me anyway): This is my alternative to a Camry or an Accord because the wife and I compromised for the family. My 'awesome looks' hide what's inside; watered down family man, weak engine, compensating for my bygone youth with a revived nameplate suited to my generation. I'm living vicariously through my car with all that I tack on it. I'm happy. I think.
Anyway, those cars just irk me so much; the base models anyway with all that stuff. With all the junk they do to it, they could easily have gone up to an R/T at the very least. Come on. At least it has a Hemi. And then no compensating for NOTHING. 
The Frost |
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| Locothrope |
| Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 2:00 pm |
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Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 13
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Sup? I just caught your stuff on youtube, and I think this show has potential.
Anyway Love the Awarnings section and well, this one tickled my fancy. I made this post in another forum, and while it doesn't exactly follow format, the spirit is the same, enjoy!
What cars do you hate and why?:
the Porsche Boxster and Cayenne. The pinnacle of "you fail it" porsches.
"I need a status symbol, but I'm a dickless new-money dotcom-er who's never driven anything with more oomph than a Malibu. THANKS PORSCHE BOXSTER!"
"I'm a housewife who needs to play the trump card in my neighborhood game of "keeping up with the jonses" but cant drive a performance vehicle because I need to buy fucktons of groceries at the costco. Thank you, Porsche Cayenne!"
You bastards. who drops 80 grand and up on an SUV anyway!? Whats even MORE sad is that the Cayenne can outrun the boxster.
Next in line: Civics.
Appologies to the people that actually took the time to tune their civic into a canyon carving beast from hell, but all your less inteligent compatriots have RUINED the civic's reputation.
Prius:
Oh christ on a BUN do i hate the prius. Why? Because the prius is the left wing status symbol. (not that being left wing is bad mind you) I've gone and trolled prius forums before, and everywhere, it's this self congratulatory cesspool of pseudo environmentalists pleasuring each other over how forward thinking and progressive they are. BUT they turn around and throw a goddamn hissy fit when California decided to do something intelligent for once, and stopped issuing diamond-lane exceptions for hybrid vehicles.
"THEY'RE JUST CONTROLED BY EVIL OIL BUSH ORGANIZATION BUSH BUSH WAR BUSH BUSH BU$H!11" when it's quite obviously apparent that when you're above 50 mph or so in the prius, you're not on the earth saving electric engine, but on the same old fuel burning gas engine the rest of us use, getting mileage no better than an echo, and WORSE than a CRX hf.
and what is the majority of all American driver's commutes? you guessed it, Highways where you drive at least 65.
If pri-tards actually cared, they'd be using public transit and biking. Or arguing for E85 and Bio-diesel stations
(what? a car that runs on corn husks and gets reasonable economy? f*@$ that! I want an overhyped driveway ornament I can use incorrectly!) They even did the hybrid drive wrong, they should have used the gas to power a small generator to fill the battery (with or without regenerative braking) occasionally while using a beefier electric motor to power the car all the time. Bam, and actual hybrid!
V6 mustangs/firebirds: Just stop it. go home, you lack the only claim to automotive worthiness that mustangs/firebirds have: POWER.
Fords in general: YOU DOUCHEBAGS! THE MUSTANG CAN'T HOLD ITS OWN ANYMORE AND YOU DIDN'T BRING FORD'S AWESOME CARS THAT WOULD HAVE SET THE STAGE FOR YEARS TO COME: NO escort Cosworth, and no Rs200. THOSE CARS WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT! BUT WHAT DOES THE AMERICAN COMPANY DO? SHAFT THEIR OWN COUNTRY TO SELL IT EXCLUSIVELY IN EUROPE!!
NEW GTOs: I SURE LOVE PEOPLE TALKING HOW AWESOME THEIR PONTIAC IS WHEN IT'S ACTUALLY A HOLDEN MONARO.
Dodge SRT4:
At a dodge engineers meeting: "Okay gang, we've got a nice stiff chassis, an engine that can boost till next thursday, and a fat turbocharger slapped on it. How can we possibly ruin this perfect concept, something that stood a chance of smacking imports in the balls? I KNOW! let's not make it AWD and market the rest of the line as economy cars! GOD We're so f---ing smart!"
Saturn Sky/Pontiac Solstice:
Said at a GM engineers meeting: "Okay gang, we've got an engine with factory backed mods to 1000 horsepower, a nimble chassis, we've got it RWD this time, Slick, fucking stylish, and ready to give the miata a run for it's money! How do we f*@$ THIS one up? HOW COULD WE POSSIBLY LOSE? wait..what? Say that again ted.. OH! Price it higher than an evo 9? BRILLIANT!
GOD WE ARE STILL SO F---ING SMART!"
GMC Top kick: if you don't haul an entire racing team/construction business/throughbread horse stable with this, you should just get a bumper sticker that reads "Hey ladies, I'm overweight and my penis is microscopic!"
any SAAB since '93 : 40,000 dollars for a car that looks uglier than a BMW and doesn't perform as well, made from partsbin conglomerations between domseticorp subsidiaries? WHERE DO I SIGN!?!
I hate the BMW z4, and e90 chassis: they're just ugly. stupid buldgey lines, huge asses, and melted cough-drop shapes. I've flicked out boogers that looked better than the new BMWS.
what was BMW known for? Class? Refined Conservative design elements with an emphasis on function over form? SCREW THAT! LETS MAKE IT LOOK LIKE BATHTUB THAT MELTED AND THEN CUT ANGLES INTO IT! Screw Chris bangle for designing UGLY ass cars.
I think i finished off the last of my hatorade there... or my gatorrage,
Hope you guys got some laughss out of it. |
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| Locothrope |
| Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 10:19 am |
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Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 13
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hey guys, just caught the second part of your "what cars really say" segment. And regarding 'classic sports cars' I'd polietly beg to differ, considering that some of the fastest cars on my local windy roads are miatas from the 90's. There's something to be said for these older cars.
Moreover, I love my older sports car. the reason I bought mine (at first) is simply because I couldn't afford an STi. But gradually, as I spent time with it, yes, i started to understand its character. It's little quirks. the way it wants to behave.
And besides. You guys bitch about the conformity of 3 series and 911 owners, but having an older sports car combats that. Especially one like mine, where I can drive to work every day for six months and never see another Alltrac.
I'm sorry. But I love my older car for all the reasons you hate it. and at the end of the day, I'd rather be 'out of touch' and having a blast in my celica, than "with it" in a european wagon. |
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| Todd |
| Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 8:08 pm |
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Joined: 23 Aug 2007
Posts: 12
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Hey Locothrope!!
Thanks for chiming in here man... and the truth is... I DRIVE AN OLD CAR. Heck... the one in the picture, for that matter!
Essentially... we offer equal opportunity Mocking. We tease others and are more than willing to tease ourselves.
I agree with your points (Cause I drive an 18yr old car I LOVE). But, yah, my friends with the new 3 Series have a point when they mock its old car quirks.
When it comes to this site NOTHING is sacred... And all defenses are welcome.
Thanks man! Appreciate your involvement here.
Todd. |
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| avengingtn |
| Posted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 12:18 pm |
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Joined: 16 Jan 2010
Posts: 22
Location: Tennessee
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| Loco... You presentation sucks, but I must say. I agree with everything you said. It's a shame really. |
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